Unstructured Thoughts Of A Theater Major

I decided yesterday that I’m adding on a double major in Environmental Biology. I’m super excited! I’m turning in the paperwork today to make it official. My advisor already helped me set up my classes for this coming semester and I’m really stoked! The little downside to it is that this means that I’m going to be a super senior and be here forever…but oh well. I’m so happy that I’m getting to do what I feel that I was ment to do all along. Sure I love theatre, but it wasn’t my first calling. Biology was. I was just scared and didn’t feel that I was smart enough to handle it. So I ran to theatre as my back up. Sure I’m god awful at math and chemistry is gonna kick my ass, but I’m looking forward to challenging myself and getting a solid degree under my shoulders that I can get a job in that will support me. I’m just a little sad that I won’t be able to take acting 2 this semester…or any other theatre classes…but I really need to catch up on these science classes because now technically I’m in the same place an incoming freshman bio major. Theatre will always be a part of my life. That’s why I’m keeping it as a major. But even though this road is gonna be long and rough at times, I can’t wait to get started!! I’m ready for the challenge! :)

So…call backs are tomorrow…and I’m stoked :) I love learning new music lol…Yup….gigantic musical theatre nerd :p bam.

In other news, I’m addicted to skyrim again. Lol Perfect timing too because its the week before finals and I totally don’t have anything to study for…….ha. sarcasm. But ya they released a new mod that incorporates the kinect and I just think its the coolest damn thing since sliced bread. My parentals probably think I’ve gone borderline psychotic because I keep shouting “Fus Ro Da!!!” at the top of my lungs every five seconds. To top off being a theater nerd, I am also a video game geek. Oh ya. I’m just rolling in sexy vibes right now….I’m in a super good mood right now…and super hyper… possibly in need of aderol…. Oh well lol back to skyrim!

Wow….I can’t believe this semester is almost over, and that I’m one week away from being done with my freshman year of college…craziness.  This has literally been one of the best years of my life. A lot of crazy changes, but most of them are good.  

It feels like yesterday that I came to Clarion for my first production as a theatre major with Gypsy.   I was so nervous that I wasn’t going to fit in anywhere or with anyone.  But somehow, I meshed right in with pretty much everyone.  We had our good times where we all got along, laughed, partied and just goofed off while we sang and danced our butts off doing what we loved.  But there were the occasional bad times where we all just spent too much time together and bickered and snapped at one another.  But we would put differences aside and come together to overall have a blast with the shows and each other.

Then the semester started.  I knew what to expect because of spending my entire summer getting to know the ins and outs and the people of the department.  But boy when classes started, it was even better then I could have hoped for.  I made new friends with the other incoming freshman, met the rest of the department who hadn’t stayed the summer, and immediately started to get some audition experience under my belt on the first day of classes.  I got to be in my very first main stage show as an ensemble member in Scrooge the musical and I had a great time doing it!!! I then became the “Universal Rhino/temporary Assistant Stage Manager” for Rhinoceros.  At times I saw that show as a pain in the butt, but I loved getting to watch the other actors and learn things from the director even though I wasn’t a part of the show.  

Then, even though I was still a little unsure if I was prepared or not for it, I auditioned for my BFA in Musical Theatre.  It was one of the most adrenaline filled moments of my life.  I proved to myself that I am capable of doing this for a living for the rest of my life, and proved it to my professors too because I was accepted into the program!!!  I was just in complete shock because from everything I had been told about the auditions in the past year, I didn’t think I would have a chance at getting it till my last semester as a sophomore.  It just lifted a nine bajillion pound weight off my back knowing that I was good enough to do what I wanted to do for the rest of my life, and the fact that I didn’t have to audition for it again. 

Then about three days later, I auditioned for summer theatre and was casted and a bitchy nun/the understudy for Maria in The Sound of Music! I was completely ecstatic.  To top it all off, I’m finally moving out on my own in less than two weeks and I’m going to Rome, Italy for ten days in less than 6 weeks!!!  Let me just say that this summer is gonna be epic and I can’t wait for it to start!

All drama aside from this past year, I couldn’t have asked for a better first year of college.  

Now today, I’m auditioning for Edges and I’m planning to go in there and knock the directors socks off, and whatever happens, happens.  I can’t believe how fast this year has gone.  My summer classes are gonna be smooth sailing and with all thats going on to keep me busy, I’m gonna blink and the summer will be gone too.  But I’m sure this summer is going to be a blast and I can’t wait to get started!!!!!!!!

:D

Ok. Just hide this or delete this from your dashboard please if you don’t want to read this. I just needed to get something off my chest that has been upsetting me lately.

It really must be time for the semester to end. People are kindof being horrible to eachother lately. It’s really sad… :( I’m not saying we all need to be hakuna matata here, but people should at least try to be civil to one another…instead of this nasty backstabbing and snippy stuff we’ve got going on…its a little below people of our responsibilities and age. Sorry to be the one to burst peoples bubbles, but no ones perfect. We all know that. If someone has a problem with someone else, we should be able to talk about and work it out with eachother and not cut eachother down and hurt eachother feelings and make them feel like a sort of parriah…we don’t like it when people do it to us, so don’t do it to others. I know I didn’t follow this rule, but certain things have made me look at my actions and decide to really try to change the way I act around people. I would much rather have a civil conversation with someone who tells me they have a problem with me than someone who gets snippy with me behind my back through Facebook or something…I just think we all should look at the way we treat other people and decide if the way we treat one person, is the way we want the world to treat us. And like the old saying goes, if you cant say something nice, say nothing at all.

Sorry…just needed to vent a bit…sorry if I offend anyone…

I think I’m gonna end up being one of those dumb ass people who gets trampled on by other people all my life…I have problems standing up for myself…ya…not good right? I also really let things get to me, get my hopes up over nothing, and don’t seem to be good at much else lately than just being a fucking punching bag for others…this is my life…and it sucks…well you know what? From now on I am unbending and immovable steel wall. I won’t get my hopes up for anything, and I won’t show emotions like that, and I’m officially no longer taking shit from anyone…I don’t care who you are or if you get pissed at me. I have been a push over my entire life, and I’m damn tired of it. Treading carefully over people’s feelings so I don’t piss anyone off. So I’m just gonna say shit how it is from now on and stand up for myself because that’s the only way I’m gonna get anywhere in life. I am now an unbreakable wall that doesn’t take people’s shit. You have been warned. No more mr. Nice guy. Cuz nice people finish last. Ive had enough bull shit.

The end

I swear life hates me sometimes….like right now. I have an audition today for Rhinoceros and one that I have to sing at on Saturday….plus Im Poona be sick for my birthday…..life can kiss my ass…

I swear to Fucking god I have a stalker. Not the good kind either. He’s literally Fucking EVERYWHERE now because he miraculously decided to come back to school. Ok. Pretty sure this started when I was in a show at the university during the summer when I was going into eleventh grade. “Creep” ,(which is how I will refer to this person) was in it to and was evidently a student here at that time. Ok. So he kinda gave me the heeby jeebies from the start, so I only really spoke to him when I absolutely had to. He somehow got it in his head that we were “best friends” or working our way to something more…I was NOT interested. But anyways, he decided he’s gonna take matters into his own hands to move this “relationship” faster. One evening after rehearsal, I when outside to get picked up by my parents. I’m standing there minding my own business just texting, when out of nowhere, he shows up beside me and starts talking to me. I wasnt interested in talking so I just gave the occasional “hmmmph”, hoping he would take the hint to GO THE FUCK AWAY. But Im too “nice” and couldn’t say it to his face. He didn’t take the hint and kept talking. Then my parents pulled up and Im thinking, “Thank god, Im saved.” I start walking toward the car when I realized, “oh shitness, he’s following me! WHY THE FUCK IS HE FOLLOWING ME?!” I get in the car hoping he would leave, but my hopes were crushed like a sad little butterfly getting hit by a speeding car. My mom winds down her window and she says “can I help you?” In my head Im screaming to her “dont Fucking talk to him! You’ll only encourage him! Like petting a dog after it pisses on the carpet! You don’t so that!” But the physical me just sat there in silent horror. “oh I just wanted to introduce myself to you. Your Lauren parents right? I’m a good friend of Lauren in the show.” Then my oblivious parents continued talking to him for about 20 minutes to my utter horror. He finally walked away and after the show ended I didn’t see him anymore. I escaped him for two years…until now. He’s coming back to the university, messaging me on Facebook telling me which building he lives in and what his room number is, and I see him Fucking everywhere now! I’m not even safe at work. He likely stood outside the front doors and pretty sure he saw me. He also stalked me when I was out eating with my friends and one of the food stops on campus this past semester and made a point of inviting himself to the table, sitting right next to me and hugging me….AWWW HELL NO! I DO NOT WANT TO FUCKING DEAL WITH THIS! My friends could obviously see I felt several creeped out and I think they were too. This didn’t even last five minutes because I bolted out of there as fast as I could and my friends did the same.

So if you know who Im talking about and creep happens to sneak yo and your with me, Please, Fucking save me from my misery. Thank you. This has been a scared rant by me.

Jenna marbles is Fucking amazing and I never get bored watching her videos. I wanna do a drunk kitchen sometime! That would be amazing in all kinds of fucked up ways!! I think that is now on the “to do” list for this summer. Fuck ya! Who wants to join me???

………..Omg Im so tired……bahahagaha!